I started writing when I was young.
I had a vision only I could see.
So I started to write.
To dissect my own feelings.
Those words came from people I have known, from the deepest places in my heart, from memories & from dreams.
Through words I was able to enter worlds...
Comforting. All healing.
They were also worlds of pain...but they didn’t inflict it.
They EXPLAINED it.
Why is pain so defining?
The answer was simple.
Because pain & love walk hand in hand.
An astonishing fine line.
I had to learn that pain was the greatest teacher.
He claimed, “I teach you the hard way, because otherwise you will never learn.”
Knowing that it felt horrible,
he still asked me if I liked how it felt.
I replied with a simple “of course not” & before he was about to lecture me any further, I understood.
“Then make sure you don’t make anybody else feel the same pain you just had to feel”, he said.
At first, I was fascinated.
Then I realized that if everybody works together & nobody causes anybody else any pain, we could stop the vicious cycle.
Ecstatic was the best word to describe how I was feeling.
But the world doesn’t work like that, kid.
It’s a sad, cold world.
“Only time I’m feeling pain,
is when I’m feeling love.”
So what are my options?
As I grew older, I grew colder.
Couldn’t seem to find anybody’s shoulder.
Who can you trust in this forsaken world?
We are born alone & we die alone.
My book of pain keeps adding new chapters,
as I don’t just grow colder, but wiser.
He has taught me that it is better to be hurt, instead of being the 1 hurting others.
It is not us, who need to be saved...
It is them.
It is us, who need to show them that their medicine has been inside them all this time.
It is them, who need to find it inside themselves.
Cold shoulders, broken hearts.
We need those things to evolve.
To gain an understanding of appreciation.
To realize that we are capable.
To ENDURE & push through.
What we decide to pursue between birth & death is our very own choice.
Every day is a test.
& every day might be the last.
Love as long as you live.
My words carry the message of pain.
My life is fueled by my art.
I write because I love pain.
& pain loves me.
I had realized, that pain was my best friend.
The reason I was able to survive by myself.
The only feeling that made me feel alive.
I had my own ailment inside me for years.
It was PAIN.
He was me.
& I was him.
I became 1 with pain...
& never felt pain again.